Sunday, November 15, 2009

Weekend away with Eric

Eric and I just got back from a weekend together in Tahoe. The children stayed with Emi and had a wonderful time watching movies in bed, eating "red light" foods, riding bikes in the driveway and playing games. Emi is a lot of fun!

Eric and I have been trying to have these weekends away every so often to reconnect and have focused time together. We miss the children a lot and talk about them an embarrassingly large amount of the time, but find that the hours upon hours spent just together with no responsibility to anyone or anything but each other is incredibly re-charging.

This time away was particularly great as Tahoe this time of the year is pretty "boring". The ski season has yet to begin, but it is too cold for hiking. There were hardly any other people in the entire resort that we stayed at. We loved it. We spent hours talking by fireplaces, talking over long meals, and talking while walking around. We watched two movies --a real luxury for us at this stage of life and laughed at how (just like when we lived in San Francisco before children), we talked away the evening, missed dinner, and found no restaurants open at such a late hour. Fortunately for us, the desk clerk at our hotel called the restaurants in the resort area for us and found a sushi restaurant that was open for take out for another 20 minutes. So we ran in the freezing cold to this restaurant, ordered take out and had a wonderful late night meal in our warm cozy room. I'm glad we are still able to lose track of time so easily!

We got back home the next afternoon and had a very laid back, normal evening with the kids. They seemed happy to see us, but had a wonderful content, secure feel about them.

We have a busy next two weeks ahead of us. I hope I am able to stay focused on this wonderful family that I am so blessed to have.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

School holiday

I just love having the kids home due to a school holiday. Having the whole day free to spend with them. I love the hours upon hours together. There is something fabulous about having quantity--not just quality time-- together.

We excitedly planned our time together a few days in advance. (Anticipation is half the fun!) The kids wanted to start the day off pretending to feel sick and, therefore, needing to stay in their pajamas and eat a special breakfast (cinnamon rolls and icy apple juice) in Mommy's bed while watching a Max & Ruby DVD. They also needed popsicles for pretend sore throats. After that they wanted to play puppies and make a craft. Next, they wanted to go to Mimi's Cafe for lunch (we went once awhile ago and Alexander has very fond memories of their hot chocolate). The children managed to charm at least 8 people in the lobby during our 20 minute wait for a table. The way they talked, shared a chair and treated each other brought lots of "how cute!" and compliments while we waited. My favorite memory of lunch, though, was in the bathroom when Avery pulled her skirt and underpants down around her ankles as soon as she opened the door to the bathroom area, then walked half naked to a stall, shut the door on me and announced "I need privacy, please!" Privacy? After walking half naked across a bathroom full of people? I just loved that.

After that, we went back home for more play. This time they wanted to play Noah's Ark and turn the playroom into an ark. We built a little fort in the middle of the room for the people, found a play lantern, gathered snacks and a thermos of water and carried as many stuffed animals as we could find. We had fun turning the lights on and off for day and night and eating snacks in the fort. Later, we planted tulips in planters outside. And, finally, while I made dinner and cleaned up the kitchen, the kids played Clifford Games on the computer. Since Eric was not expected home until late that night, we then ate dinner, took baths, brushed teeth, put on PJs and read books in Avery's room. Alexander then watched a movie in his room while I snuggled Avery to sleep.

Once Avery was asleep, I went to Alexander's room and snuggled him up and talked a bit with him. I just love our night time conversations. Tonight, he wanted to play our "feelings game" where we take turns asking each other, "what was your most X moment?" Alexander's likes to ask me about what was my most disgusting, stinky, exciting, silly, challengiest, bravest moments that day. I usually go for variety or for things I know he felt that day. I am enjoying these talks so much. I hope we can do this for years. After I gave Alexander a few more snuggles, I went to bed, computer in hand to wait up for Eric.

While waiting, Alexander had a nightmare. While giving him snuggles and rubbing his back, he explained he "was in outer space and touched all the planets, except Uranus which was too hot, and then went to Mars where there was a dinosaur that tried to eat him." He seemed comforted when I reminded him that God made sure that all the dinosaurs were gone before He made people, but really loved it when I told him that dinosaurs are thought to have been very poor thinkers and to have had very small brains about the size of a walnut. So, if we ever saw a dinosaur, we could easily trick him. So, I said that if he has that dream again, he can shout to the dinosaur, "hey! look! a piece of cheese!" and the dinosaur would forget all about him and go look for the cheese. Alexander said he would shout, "hey! look! a T- Rex!" because he figured the dinosaur was a meat eater and would want that more. He seemed very relieved to have a plan in place for a possible encounter.

However, I apparently went too far when I next said that he could also dig a big hole and trick the dinosaur to go into it and then he would not be able to get out of the hole and bother him. Alexander did not like this idea at all. He said that would hurt the dinosaur. I love that he just wanted to not be eaten by the dinosaur, but didn't want to harm him in any way. What a loving, kind heart he has.

So that is how we spend our time together when we have quantity. I can't wait for Thanksgiving break!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

So sick

Alexander woke up feeling pretty awful last night. At first he started coughing and then he started vomiting. Eric and I both went to him and soothed, changed, held, and comforted him until he fell back asleep in my arms. At some point, Eric went to snuggle up Avery who had woken up and stayed with her, peacefully asleep in his arms, the entire night. (It is so wonderful on so many different levels to have him in a job finally where he can actively and fully be apart of his children's lives). I stayed and snuggled up with Alexander and helped him throughout the night as he got sick several more times. I could tell each time frightened him, but I could also tell how comforted he was by my presence. I truly didn't mind and actually felt very blessed changing his sheets and pajamas, applying cool wash cloths and a cold "boo boo bear" to his forehead, stroking his curls just the way he likes, and rubbing his back and repeating all of this until he was better. It felt really good to be able to help him and nurture him so completely.

It is a strange thing to be thankful for. But I can't help but think about how lucky I am to be able to be with him when he needs me and not separated from him due to divorce, job travels, or illness. How blessed I am that I have the skill set to help him-- that his illness needs do not exceed my abilities or never abates as can happen with a serious condition. How fortunate I am that I could focus completely on him and not worry about job pressures tomorrow or have to race back and forth between children crying for a parent's love. How lucky I am that I have been able to spend enough time with him to know what helps and soothes and what doesn't. How relieved I am to not be so exhausted from life that I can't step back and fully appreciate the beauty and joy in nurturing a child. It is wonderful to be able to fully appreciate it. So I am very, very thankful for my sleepless night last night. It is so strange the things in life that help you appreciate how very blessed you are.

And, if you are wondering how Alexander was feeling today? Wonderful! He had the luck of feeling 100% healthy but got to stay home from school because it hadn't been 24 hours since his last symptom. And, just in case he wasn't actually feeling as good as he looked and reported, we kept things quiet. He spent the entire day in his pajamas watching movies (a real treat), drinking lots of fluids, reading books, playing games, and playing Beatles songs with Daddy on the drums. He looked very happy.