Halloween fun

Yesterday the kids and I had a lot of fun getting ready for Halloween.  We painted pumpkins, made pumpkin muffins and toasted pumpkin seeds.  Fun!  I love watching how carefully they crack eggs into their bowls when we bake and how much joy they have when painting.   

Today we are making treat bags for the kids' classroom, getting our costumes ready and figuring out what kinds of treats we want for the neighborhood trick or treaters.  For the classroom treat bags, we are tracing and cutting bats from sturdy black card stock, adhering a tag that says, "Boo!  Happy Halloween from Alexander and Avery", and then using a clothes pin to secure the bat to a small bag with play doh in it.  As for the costumes, Alexander is going as a ghost and Avery as a Princess.   And for the neighborhood trick or treaters, we are likely to offer a few options--candy, cutely tied Halloween pencils and leftover Play Doh.  It's always nice to have options!  Plus, we don't have many treats to make as our neighborhood is small and does not have many children in it.  

Today Avery is having a play date with an adorable little girl from her class at school.  Her mother and I are taking the children to an area attraction for little kids.  There will be lots of slides and imaginative places to explore.  I am looking forward to getting to know this mother better and I can't wait to see Avery enjoying having another little friend all to herself.  She is very social and loves to have someone her age to pal around with.

And speaking of Avery, she has had us all in stitches lately with some of the things she has been saying.  She had a long conversation with me yesterday where she said she needed to go to bunny town in order to get a big sister named Gus.  When we were having ice cream together, we saved some for Gus and made sure to get an extra water for her as well.  She was very distressed when we failed to find bunny town on our way to the park.  Fortunately, she had a lot of fun playing on the slides, swings, and in the wood chips with me and seemed to forget all about Gus.  However, on the way to pick up Alexander from school, she looked for bunny town again and was disappointed not to find it.   I can only imagine what is going on in her mind as she looks for a place called "bunny town" and the big sisters available just for the taking.  There is no convincing her that such a place does not exist, but she will accept a pretend "bunny town" at home and a pretend big sister named "Gus".  Oh, her imagination!  

She has also taken to calling bananas "bananulas" and whenever I ask her, "Avery, how come you're so smart/beautiful/cute/fun/etc" she has taken to answering "God just made me that way!"  I love it.   I really love this age and all the silliness that goes with it! I know this age has its own challenges, but really, is there anything more adorable than a two year old?  

Alexander and the green balloon

I was having some special one-on-one time with Alexander awhile ago and after playing at the park, reading books, and having dinner, we stopped by our favorite grocery store.   This is a small grocery store that sometimes has free balloons at the service counter for kids.  Alexander is a bit shy with new people and always balks a little before working up the courage to ask the grown up for a green balloon.  Although my heart just aches at his pleas for me to take away this painful event for him (he snuggles DEEP in my arms with his head tucked under my chin and says in a little voice, "you ask him, Mommy, pwease?"), I always calmly squeeze him tight, give him little kisses on his head and whisper in his ear, "You can do it Alexander.  You can do it.  I will go with you and give you the words if you'd like, but you can do it."    He usually stays quiet for a little bit and then climbs down with great purpose and palpable bravery to get the balloon himself, but working up the courage to ask is truly daunting for him.  We go through this ritual whenever the balloons are available.  

This day was even harder than usual as the service counter man was one we had never seen before. So Alexander took a minute or two longer before he scooted himself out my arms, walked with shoulders back and chest out over to the counter and said in his deeper than usual voice, "excuse me, can I pwease have a balloon?  a gween balloon?"  Alexander then beamed with pride, relief, and utter joy as the man filled his balloon and tied it on his wrist.  And he played with it with great delight as we checked out and headed outside to our car. As I was marveling at his courage and thinking how we all value things more that require us to stretch and grow to achieve, his balloon found itself free of his wrist and sailed quickly beyond his grasp.  The anguish on his face and the agony in his sobs and his wails of "it's gone fohever! fohEVER" still resonate deep in my heart.   

As I held him close and kissed his tears, I thought about the power I had to be his rescuer.  I realized there would be few times in his life where I would have the ability to truly restore what he had lost and be able to completely take away his sadness.  I can't tell you how much I wanted to do that.  To take away his agony, fix the problem, and be the hero in his memory of this event for years to come.  And to take advantage of this time in his life where the scope of his problems could be solved by my limited abilities.  But, I didn't distract him from his pain or take it away or solve anything for him.  I realized that I loved him more than that and that my hopes and dreams for him were much greater than what that response would have provided.  

So instead... I held him in my arms, gave him kisses, murmured my understanding and gently waited until his sobs slowed and calmed a bit before I said, "you know, Alexander, that man who gave you that balloon, he had such a friendly and warm smile...  it makes me think he might also be kind-hearted".  There was quiet for a moment and then Alexander asked, "do you think he would give me another balloon?" And I responded, "I bet if you explained what happened, he would understand.  Would you like to go back and talk to him?"  Alexander said he did and without any questions about who would do the talking, he approached the man and said in his deeper than usual voice, "my gween balloon blew away.  It came off my wist and BLEW AWAY!"  The man asked if he would like another balloon and Alexander solemnly nodded that he did.  Although he accepted this balloon with a good bit less enthusiasm and seemed tired from all of the big emotions he had been feeling, he also seemed stronger and more mature than the first time around.   And while I am certain that he experienced a lot of personal growth from this event, the growth didn't come without a lot of pain.     

I have been pondering this event for a bit now and it makes me think about my God and how He promises to always be with me and always provide comfort, but He doesn't promise that He will take away the painful events in my life (as much I sometimes beg and plead for Him to and as much as I know He has the power to).   The plan that He has for my life very frequently takes me out of my comfort zone and feels painful as I grow and stretch to become the wife, mother, daughter, and Christian that He has in mind.   I have always known this, of course, but to have a small, relatively insignificant experience on the other end of this with Alexander has made me understand and appreciate this aspect of God's love all the more.